Webster defines 'passe' as - "behind the times, out moded, antiquated, medieval...."
Webster does not venture to define the following, but my definitions can't be far from the truth:
1 public transport - "chaotic, inconvenient, passe"
2 pubic bus transport - "utterly chaotic, painfully inconvenient, passe"
3 public bus transport in Chennai - "all of the above + passe to the core"
But am I really approximating truth with my above definitions of MTC bus travel in Chennai? Do I really mean what I define MTC public bus transport in Chennai to be? I would be a hypocrite if I say yes. For I love public transport, more particularly the MTC bus variety in Chennai.
Yes, I realise what crosses your mind at this very moment. That I am vain enough to actually like an abomination like MTC bus travel only because I can't drive! Your reasoning is sound enough but so is mine! Especially since there are actually hundreds of reasons why one can even risk being branded a pervert on account of my actually 'liking' MTC travel. Out of such hundreds, I give below only six for your consumption and contemplation:
i) Do my Tamil speaking brethren still remember the film song "en kanmani, en kadhali,...." from 'Chittukkuruvi'? That masterpiece from Ilayaraja? ( it's becoming cliched, hearing from me, isn't it, words like Ilayarajas and masterpieces, always used together? - well, Truth, the first time told, is a revelation. The same truth, second time told, is a reiteration. Hundredth time, a cliche. Cliched it well might me, but truth is truth. Dinning into one's ears a thousand times that the Pacific is the mightiest ocean on earth or Everest is the tallest summit on earth is pretty cliched too, but truth they are!). Remember the interludes "emma Karuvattukkoda, munnadi po" and "Teynampet super market irangu"? So typical in the daily life of a bus conductor! Well, travelling in MTC, I still hear these words day in and day out. They goad me to remember that times have changed but the genre of bus travel has not, one bit! The conductor still daily bawls something along these lines, only the Karuvattukkodai has changed to Karbonn mobile and Teynampet does not boast of a super market, nowadays.
The lesson - MTC travel keeps you rooted to your moorings, helps you realise that more the times change, the more they remain unchanged!
ii) While I was school going, my home in Triplicane was abutting a bus stand, hardly 50 metres away. I can't say why, but I was besotted by those red-tinted monsters of Pallavan Transport. My only pastime those days was to just stand and watch the buses arrive and depart from the bus-stand! Sometimes I used to stand and watch in awe for such a long time that I would complete a full time-cycle of a route no 32 starting on its journey, reach Mint and arrive back from the return journey! A full span of about a hour and a half! I still remember the thrilling wait for half an hour in Ice house bus stop for that 4F bus (later changed to 4H, since people complained E and F were difficult to distinguish on the name board) to go to my uncle's house at Tondiarpet! What an ecstastic feeling upon spotting the bus arrive! And that out of the world journey! That particular bus travelled through the beach road, crossed Napier bridge which was a sight to behold and trundled along tunnels near the RBI (The road below the railway tracks were 'tunnels' for me, no less thrilling than any tunnel dotting the mountainous ravines of the Meghalaya hills or the Mumbai-Pune expressway!) And what to speak of route no. 39? Those days, this bus route was the longest in Madras, what with 59 stops enroute! If you board it at Hamilton bridge (our local lingo effortlessly renamed it as 'Ambattan Varavathi' and from there to even 'Barber's bridge') and take the full trip to its two hour long destination Ambattur, your day would have been made! For what better way to sight-see the entire Madras in all its glory, in say 50 paise!
Lesson: Buses help you connect with your city. Buses unveiled that facet of Madras for me which could have been perennially hidden had I travelled by any other mode other than walk!
iii) This is just an extension of (ii) above. So enamoured I was with the PTC buses that I even knew by-heart the various depots to which those buses were attached merely by having a glance at their fleet numbers, painted on the sides. B for Adyar, E for Ambattur, H for Anna nagar, J for Mandaveli, L for T.Nagar etc. The other alphabets do not readily come to my mind but what the hell, that was 35 years back! These alphabets have now been done away with, to be replaced by other codes like AN for Annanagar, MN for Mandaveli etc. These trivialities would be well, just meaningless trivialities for the common-folk, but they have a lesson. Which is,
Lesson: Buses help hone your observation skills. How you put to good use those skills is entirely in your hands.
iv) This is a phenomenon, unique only to MTC buses in Chennai. In peak hours,which would be 90% of the time, the buses would be jam-packed to the hilt, what with 150 people clinging to dear life inside a mobile contraption designed for 50. The conductor would be invariably in the rear. Those who boarded from the front gate, would pass on the money to his next bystander for the ticket. He to the next one, he, in turn, to the next and so on. The money would change hands ten times before reaching the conductor, who would dish out the ticket and the change which would then take a reverse journey passing through exactly the same ten hands which handled the onward journey. This would be repeated for scores of passengers, each choosing a different combination of ten hands. Never in Chennai's bus history has a bill passed failed to re-materialise in the avatar of a ticket and balance-change! There is a great lesson to be learnt in this bit of orderly chaos one daily witnesses in MTC buses.
Which is: Camraderie and fellow feeling are nourished in bus journeys! Moreover, faith in humanity is restored, for no single link in the chain has ever vanished with the money till date.
v) What is MTC bus travel without enjoying the moods of the fellow travellers? If you happen to take a bus especially after 9 p.m., you would happily find that half your fellow male passengers would be blissfully inebriated. They would enlighten you on a hundred topics ranging from why Madras is going to the dogs, and what exactly is the reason for India's economic downturn to why Obama is the root cause of Kudankulam not starting operations. To the uninitiated, this can be easily and patronizingly dismissed as a drunk's gibberish but if you delve deep into, his reasoning and solution to the world's problems might after all have some point and worth a second look! If you are equally inebriated, the exchange of ideas between you two, especially if heard by an uninebriated third party onlooker, might lead him to believe that with such great minds at work, deliverance from our troubles is not far off!
Lesson: MTC bus is the place where half of the world's greatest ideas spring from. If only these gems can be put to good use, the world would be a better place to live
vi) You know what? We Chennai folks believe in the socialist philosophy of 'Jo tumhara, woh humara' (what is your own should be shared with every one else, even if it is for free!) My fellow commuters in Chennai buses believe in this dictum to the core. That is why in any given bus trip, one can listen to about 5 genres of music blaring off the mobile phones of the commuters - ranging from Thalaivar's 'Acham enbadhu madamayada' to Ganesan's 'Ponal pogattum poda', to Rajni's 'aasai nooru vagai', to the current day's latest version of Kuthu pattu. Such generous souls do dish out a lesson to us,
Which is - The best place for free entertainment of different varieties is the inside of an MTC bus. More than that, 'partake of what little you have' should be today's credo.
I can go on and on but my Lord, I rest my defence with the following final words:
Journey by public transport starts off as an inevitability in the early stages of life. At a later stage, the inevitability dichotomises into two paths - the first being ability to acquire a transport of one's own and enjoying the fruits of 'comfort' and 'time saved'. The second path being continuing to suffer the trials and tribulations of a crowded environs and reaching your destination late but enjoying, in the process, experiences such tribulations afford at minimal cost! I agree friends, that having climbed up the ladder in professional life, it might seem uncool to be seen in a bus. But I have a different take. Public transport allows you to see the world. Public transport presents an opportunity to come out of your cocoons and observe life as it is, without the tinted sunglasses. Public transport does not exactly help connect you with your priorities in time, but it connects you with the most precious thing, that is life! And if you will, public transport, at least once in a while, helps shave off (i) those extra layers of fat on your belly, (ii) those extra bucks you just spent on petrol and (iii) that bit of extra carbon monoxide your owned transport just belched off!
After all, won't you agree that the journey itself is as precious as the destination, as some great soul declared? Even if the journey is, in common parlance, cattle class? If that be so, then hail the cattle!
